Tball

Drew fell today, ran into a playmate making his way to second base, during a game. But it was so much more than just a collision with a playmate. It was my anxiety at him being hurt and unsure if he needed me or wanted me to come close, unsure wether to go out to him, maybe the coaches comforts were enough? Unsure at what to say to him when I did, (relieved that when he saw me he beckoned me close), what to do to give him a positive impression after a negative experience.

His leg was hurt and he wanted me to carry him from the field, which I did. And he wanted me close and did not want to go back in to the game at all. I (tried) to encourage him, say the right things "we can't give up", "you'll be ok", etc only half believing. He's my little boy! I want him to feel safe and secure. I struggled with the balance of mothering and over coddling.

I was unprepared for the experience.

He tells me through a turned down lip and fighting back tears while I'm tucking him in, "you told me you'd see me out there, but you didn't!" (I told him, as I was leaving him in the dugout so he could re-enter the game eventually, that I would see him out "there" meaning in the field, hoping he'd be encouraged to re enter the game). That left an impression on him, but I'm not sure why? Did he feel disappointed in himself that he didn't go out again? Did I let him down somehow?

I am left feeling so confused by it all. I just want to know exactly what he's thinking and feeling so I can respond appropriately.  So I can help him use the experience to grow, to feel better. 

To compound it all, I had told Annabelle that I was just "over here" (assisting Drew in the dugout) and thought she acknowledged. But when I came back out, she was standing all alone, looking lost and close to tears, and says "where did you go?" Hugging her tight, tried to console her. Reassure her that "I will never leave you-ever...and you may not know where I am always, but I know where you are..." (Knowing that is a partial lie).  Heartbroken that she felt abandoned even if for only a moment. 

It was one of those evenings filled with too many moments that I was left feeling a little sad by and a lot unsure of. 

Thankfully God has us all in His hands, and I can cast my anxieties on Him,

Because He cares for me - and my children. I know He will give me wisdom and hope-for the moments when I'm at a loss.  

Pyramid Point

There's really no question why the area we live in has been designated the most beautiful place in America. Even in winter - 'scuse me, Spring (feels like winter still!) you can't help but be struck with awe at the natural beauty of the dunes and surrounding jewel-colored waters. This was Belle's first time at Pyramid Point, Drews second, and there certainly will be many, many more trips here and elsewhere along the beautiful Sleeping Bear dunes. 

 

 

The pics speak for themselves...

Introducing Wilbur and Olaf. Drew mentioned he wanted to give the kittens "huggles"-what a cute word. And, we kinda coaxed the kids away from some funny names that make me laugh each time I say them, "Twinkle White Paws" (which I personally love-maybe it appeals to the smidge of American Indian blood I have in me) and "Sassypants" (said with much attitude) ONLY because both kitties are boys…that's the only reason.

Incredible Journey

Took the kids to the State Theater today to see the .25 showing of Incredible Journey. It's the story of 2 dogs and a cat who make an amazing trek across the mountains. Anyway, at one point there's a mountain lion threatening the dogs and Annabelle looks at me and says, "Have you ever seen a cat that big? I know you've been up in mountains like that!" I thought it was very intelligent for a her to wonder that, her version of an if/then statement. 

Life Lately

No Training Wheels
Today, Drew felt brave enough to ride his bike without his training wheels - and did wonderfully! He now wants to ride down the big hills and go very fast and give his mother a heart attack. Each day the kids seem to get bigger and older and as I've said before, leave behind the little babies they once were. Bittersweet.

As we were getting ready to go outside to ride once more, and had asked the kids to get their socks and shoes back on, Belle--who had just finished watching "Paw Patrol"--said "I'm fired up!" It was pretty cute.

Spring Break

This year we went down to Grand Rapids for spring break. It was nice to get outta town and see (a little) less snow. The weather cooperated mostly and we got to see some cool stuff. We spent one day at Meijer Garden, one morning at the Dinosaurs Unearthed exhibit at the Public Museum the on to yummy food and beer at Founders (kids didn't drink), and the kids ate at their first Hibachi place. Of course, we spent lots of time at the hotel pool, too. Neighbors actually came down too, so we met up with them for dinner one night. It was a pleasant trip, making me aware of the fact that traveling with kids has certainly gotten easier, and more interesting over the past year or so.